Staiyano?!

Peace be upon you, and good day to all of ye dudes and dudettes out there!

OK, just wanna ask you guys a simple and quick question: Have you ever heard about KISS? And I mean the real deal KISS, the oldschool rock band from New York, not the lovey-dovey-shit band from Korea, or the verb ‘kiss’, capische?

Yes? No? Or you don’t give a flying fox’s ass about them?

If you answered yes though, then how did you came to know about them? And what is your perception about these freaks in fancy make-ups and tight costumes, or more importantly, the music that they brought? Are they disgusting to you? Weird? Creepy? Or….satanic? I guess more of you will go for the last one.

And it’s really funny if you think these guys are satanic. Really, I do! Because from most of the feedback that I got when I asked this to several of my friends or colleagues, it will go on somewhat like this: they will instantly pucker up their faces and gave me this weird look, with an extra-added statement like “You listen to black metal?” or “Did you slaughter goats or something, man?” Because that’s their perception towards them: a blood-drinking, goat-sacrificing, black metal musicians that play intelligibly loud and disgusting music. Whoever listened to these kind of music must be one of those goat-sacrificing types too, right? Better report it to the police, then!

And so I proceed to ask them the next question: Have you even listened to any of their music/records? Or saw any of their performances before? And the standard replies goes like this: “Errr…no I haven’t, but I DO know that they are really into black metal, y’know, with their ghastly and satanic make-ups, and plus, a friend of a friend of another friend of mine SAID SO too.” (I asked these questions during the black metal hype in Malaysia a few years back, where everybody is eager to rat out a black metal fan/devil worshipper to be whacked to death. You know, just like the along/loan sharks hype rite now, where eventually it will die down and replaced by other hypes. Hehe.)

Allrite dudes and dudettes, it’s not like I’m defending KISS or black metal or something, but just want to show you what can happen if you quickly judge something purely on the basis of hearsay, or gossip. You don’t see ‘em or hear ‘em yet, but you BELIEVE it’s true because everybody else said the same thing. They can’t be wrong, rite? Hmm….

So if you happen to believe that KISS is a black metal band, or never even bothered to check out their music, here is Detroit Rock City, performed in 1976 in some kinda Halloween TV special. Please, do make your own judgement; hate ‘em or love ‘em I don’t really care much. But its good to make those judgements AFTER you saw or heard them, rite?

Allrite, so whaddya think? With those bare-chested costumes and pouty-mouth pose, they are more towards disco than rock n roll to me! Although they do have some fireballs effects, exploding amps and some fire- or (fake)blood-spitting (in some of their other performances), black metal is definitely out of the question! And if you want more, or still believed that KISS is short for Knights In Satan’s Service, I suggest you look for their song I Was Made For Loving You. More disco cheesiness ensues!

FYI, KISS is a rock n roll band formed in 1972 by four dudes, namely Paul Stanley aka Starchild (vocals/rhythm guitar), Gene Simmons aka The Demon (vocals/bass), Ace Frehley aka Spaceman (lead guitar) and Peter Criss aka Catman (drums). They even briefly performed without make-ups in the mid-80s thru the 90s, much to the dismay of their hardcore fans. But they are back on make-ups after that, and are still performing to this day, because you know…they are made for loving you! Hehe.

But wait! This won’t be a complete WTFOMGBBQLOL! post just by showing you these guys! Not enuff, not even close, man! Lemme show ye the real KISS! The guys that inspired KISS to put on make-ups and sing in falsetto! BE-HOOOLLLLD!!!

Secos e Molhados (meaning ‘Wet and Dry Goods’….wtf?), a Brazilian band formed just ONE year earlier before KISS. In this video, they showcased a couple of songs; the first song is quite catchy, but the dancing for the second song (from 2:14 onwards) and the frontman’s facial expression at the end of the video are just PRICELESS, man!

Just look at the vocalist! He’s like a Portugese version of Perry Farrell (Jane’s Addiction’s frontman) with too much make-up and even more body hair! And he definitely sounds like a woman! Actually he is Ney Matogrosso, and is still singing ’til today (but not with this band anymore) and is actually quite big in Brazil. He also claimed that KISS stole their idea for the make-up, but KISS vehemently denied it. Hehe.

There ya go! Once you watch something, you cannot un-watch it no more, even if you pour Dettol into your eyes or pluck it out with forks!

Have a nice day!
scumbaggins